what's on my mind
I've had some things on my mind lately that I haven't written about. I like to keep my blog fun and simple but I'm hoping that maybe in writing about this some of your comments will make feel better or at least less confused. I tried writing last night but whenever I talk or write about this I quickly change the conversation or don't post the entry.
On Feb. 27th (the last Friday of the month) I was on the phone with my dad and was kind of watching the news. Brianna's school came out. They're going to be getting some construction done to the building so that's what I thought it was. Then I heard, "five employees have been suspended and we will bring more to you as soon as more information is revealed." I freaked out! I hung up with my dad and called the news station right away. No answer. I called again. I became one of those psycho people that keep redialing until they get an answer. I tried another channel and they said they knew nothing and asked that if I found anything out, to please call them back. Two more news stations later, still no one had any information and the first one was still not answering. I checked their web pages but they had not been recently updated. The same for the newspaper. The next day I caught the news again and there was the same report. It said that five employees from Brianna's school had been transferred to another campus pending an investigation for misconduct with at child. I was schocked, appalled and furious. We spend so much of our time making sure that our children are ok and sometimes just have to trust in people. People like their teachers and school workers. I felt betrayed, lied to, and just very let-down and panicked. I didn't know what to do. I don't want to interrupt Brianna's routine in her first year of school and I love the school program but do I send her back? I don't want her to know that there is something wrong. Then I remembered that her teacher and teacher's aid had been absent for two days. I tried asking Brianna if there was anything different going on in her school and all she could think of was that they would be having a Dr. Suess celebration. I thought of going to the school but knew that they would tell me nothing and I'd probably get mad. The following Monday I spoke to the principal. She told me minimal information but I somehow felt better and besides the people whom the allegations were made against were not there at the time. I'm friends with the school counselor and she basically assured me that the allegations were baseless. Still confused but feeling better, I took her to school. Things were pretty calm for a few days but then the rumors at the bus stop started. People were making up all sorts of stories and jumping to all sorts of conclusions. Last Thursday there was a meeting for all of the parents. I thought of going but then knew how all the parents were going to be. I get upset, but I talk things through calmly and demand explanations. That didn't happen at that meeting. People were yelling, throwing accusations left and right and really nothing was resolved. What's worse is that all of the people that I saw yelling and complaining are never the ones that attend the parent seminars at school. There's been various parenting classes, monthly seminars, walk with the students, family luncheons, and lots of other activities. I've been to most all of them and didn't recognize any of those people. One lady was saying that the kids are too small and there's no way to know if anything is wrong with them. What?!?! I think if we don't know that something is wrong with our 4 or 5 year olds we are doing a bad job at parenting. You know when there is something wrong. Yes, sometimes you have to yank information out of them but you have to observe your kids and talk to them. Another lady got up and was yelling saying that it is wrong for the administration to not let parents into the classroom. Huh? We've had plenty of opportunities to know what's going on in their classrooms. We can have P.E., lunch, and some activities together with them. Of course we just can't walk in whenever we want. And frankly, I don't want parents just roaming around in the classrooms. I turned out to be on teacher, three teacher's aids and one bus monitor who are suspended. We were told that the parents of anyone who was directly involved was notified. The thing that worries me is that yesterday was two weeks since Brianna's teacher and teacher's aid have been absent. I think that if it's them, it was probably a student in the morning class. I also feel bad because I love her teacher and think she is doing a great job. All sorts of things come to mind. I know how some parents file complaints against the teachers for anything. A dad from our bus stop filed a complaint because a little boy pushed his little girl. They're four years old! How is that the teacher's fault? What was she supposed to do? The teacher contacted him, the boy's parents, and punished the boy. Did he want the teacher to hang him or something? I know he's daughter is precious to him, but things like this happen. I'd be more concerned about how she's always pulling other kids' hair if I were him. Anyway, last Friday, we were allowed to spend as much of the day with our children as possible to make sure that they are safe. The screaming moms did not show up. I was worried that they would be there and went with Brianna. We had lunch together and I spent a couple of hours in the classroom. I was the only mom who showed up from Brianna's class. I talked to the counselor again and she looked worried. There were cops and television crews there. She said that this was just bad for the kids and was concerned about them. She told me that of course she couldn't tell me who the people involved were but that she was sure that everything would turn out well. The investigation ended on March 9th and there will be another meeting tonight to let us know about the results before the employees go back or not. I'm really torn now because I'm worried about my daughter, of course, but how far is too far. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing I wouldn't do for her if I thought she were in danger, but I've seen how much she's developed in the past few months. Her social skills are better now that she is around other kids. She LOVES going to school and working on school projects. She sings all the new songs to me and can't wait to show me the art that she did. She's even writing now. She writes all the letters, her name, and words like "happy", "I love you", "mom", and "Alec". I can't help but think that this whole thing just started from some exaggeration or misunderstanding. Then I think, what if something did happen and here I am being naive and putting my daughter in danger? I can't wait to hear the results but then I wonder what I'll feel if they are bad news. I don't know what to do. You all have a child that you love whether it's your own child, niece/nephew, cousin. Can you imagine how it feels to hear something like this which is basically what we all dread? I'm trying to be optimistic and just wait but I can't help feeling worried. I'll keep you all posted.
Thurday Threesome
"A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it."
~ Alfred Hitchcock
Onesome- The dinner: What's your favourite meal? Is it something you get out or can you get it at home?
-I love Chinese food, and prefer it from a restaurant. I love ginger soup with chives, rice, more rice followed by rice, shrimp, vegetables. Yum. . .
Twosome- the theatre Admission: What's your favourite movie and/or play and why?
-I can't say that I have one favorite movie. I usually like really depressing movies that make you feel like shooting yourself as soon as you see it. I'm not a gloomy person, but I love those movies. Among them are The English Patient, American Beauty, Life is Beautiful, Il Postino, Damage, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, and a movie that isn't depressing: Pulp Fiction.
Threesome- and the babysitter: We've all been left with a babysitter at one point or another. Did you have a favourite childhood babysitter? What made that person special? - I only stayed with my grandmother and I loved it. I'm still there as often as I can. What made it special is just how much love she has for us and her cooking! She feeds anyone who walks in there with the best tasting food. I wonder what she's cooking today . . . . .
feeling: worried
listening to: Sarah McLachlan (Adia)
what I should be doing instead of blogging: vacuuming
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