Tuesday, July 25, 2006

"living in sin"

Rodrigo and I are not married nor are we in the process of getting married. It really just isn't an issue with us. Surprisingly, it's not even an issue for our families. The only ones that ever hassle me are friends with the old, "So, when's the wedding?".
Well, I say that it's not even an issue but it is now. The thing that has changed is that now I feel immature calling him my boyfriend. I first felt it when I was telling clients back home that I was moving. I'd explain, "My boyfriend got a job offer in Tucson", and I thought that sounded immature. I felt like I got a look of "boyfriend?". Like I was following around some little boyfriend I have a crush on. I used to make it a big point to correct people when they called us husband/wife. Right away I'd say "We're not married". It got a little old with all of Alec's pediatrician visits, though. They'd call me Mrs. Rodrigo's last name and I just started going along with it. Places like that I don't even correct people anymore.
Anyway, back to what I was saying. Rodrigo had to reply to an email from his company about relocation fees. They asked to confirm that we were living together but not married. He replied something like "We are in fact partners but are not married". I freaked out. I think that saying that we're partners will make people think we're gay guys. That would make me the tranny. Don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with guys living together, I just don't want to be seen as the guy. Hmm, maybe people would think Rodrigo is just a very manly looking girl. Anyway, the point is I didn't like the way partners sounded. That brings me to a dilema. . . what do I call him?

- boyfriend = immature
- partners = gay
- lover = dramatic professor type (Think Will Farrell on SNL when he would say "My lovah. . ."
- my babydaddy = hilarious but not really my style
- gentleman friend = southern couple courting
- escort = gigolo

Rodrigo says he's going to call me his "opposite sex partner". I'd love to hear that. I wouldn't be able to stop laughing. He says there's nothing wrong with partner and that people don't automatically assume "same sex partner". For now I'm having fun looking at the entries I found on this thesaurus. I'd have a blast using some of those. What would you suggest?

Oh! Significant other! Duh!

feeling: a little hungry
listening to: Angels and Airwaves (The Adventure)


Jesser said...

Hehehe. I have no idea what you'd call him. The whole dilemma is rather amusing though ... significant other? Man friend? I kinda like opposite sex partner ... mainly because it amuses me, but it doesn't really roll of the tongue.

Thought this was an interesting article on the subject ... http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art39770.asp, and they said that people in Europe refer to their significant other as "my love" ... but I guess that's a bit weird around here.

OK, I've rambled enough. HEhe... interesting topic, tho

Yvett said...

Thanks for that article, Jess! It is EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

"Man who shares my bed"! LOL!

I really just introduce Rodrigo as "Rodrigo" no title. It's just that sometimes some sort of title is required.

Elaine said...

I didn't know you were living in Tucson! Welcome to the heat, but it's hotter here.

As for the word, I've heard "life partner" tossed around a bit. Some people even have a ceremony to celebrate this.

"Lover" sort of eeks me out. It's just not me, I think of 1970s porn music when I hear it. Although it could be good for shock value. Rodrigo is such a good name to use with "lover" though. "This is my lover, Rodrigo." See. You couldn't say that with someone named Sherman.

Yvett said...

LOL! My lover, Rodrigo. Too funny!

I'm the only person that calls him Rodrigo, though. His family calls him a nickname he wouldn't want me to mention and everyone else calls him Rod. Doesn't go well with "lover". I'd also feel "70's porn-ish" though.

foodiechickie said...

You guys are pretty much husband and wife, just not legally. I think most people are wierded out if things are not in a neat box.
Just introduce one another as Rodrigo or you Yvett and let people make their assumptions and for forms just say opposite sex life partner.

wyn said...

I don't think I would automatically assume that "partner" means that it is someone of the same sex since, yes, there is a lack of words to describe your situation. I've heard of "common-law husband," too, when you want to be technical or to really clarify. Or "your partner Rodrigo" when you first meet people so they get the point. =)

Yvett said...

Ladies, a friend just suggested "My Steadman"! LOL!

Lisanne said...

I was just going to say ... "significant other." :)