Because you know you've been dying to know these things about me . . .
Werewolves: Seriously, if you know me, then you already know this about me. I hate werewolves. No, I despise, loathe, detest werewolves. If you're wanting to give me a heart attack, show up anywhere I am dressed as a werewolf. I will undoubtedly faint, poop, and die. I just don't the exact order in which I'll do that. I'm just going to stop now. I'm getting all heebie-jeebied.
Baboons: I don't like them. Never have. I'm pretty sure it's their obscene ass and their unfortunate nose. What's more is that I think they're smug. Like a fat guy at the beach that thinks he's hot. You're not, fat guy and you're not either, baboons. Stop it.
I don't think I'd feel the least bit sad if I heard baboons were on the verge of extinction.
Sock Puppets: Seriously, need I say more? Sock puppets are all kinds of awesome and hilarious! If anyone ever wants to give me really bad news and does it with a sock puppet, I'd probably be cracking up. "You're fired", "Here are your eviction papers", and "The dog ate your wedding band" would all be gladly applauded if delivered by someone wearing a sock puppet. Awesome.
Looney Tunes: Again, total awesomeness. My husband says that I say at least one looney tunes quote a day. I'm not going to comment on that except to say that I've considered putting my name and "Genius" on my mailbox.
I also feel like a grumpy old man about Looney tunes because when I see some of the crap cartoons my kids watch now, I say something like "What's this? These cartoons aren't any good. Now, Bugs Bunny, those were cartoons!".
This link today. I was in tears while reading some of these. Mostly because I understood. I wrote muahahaha once and it turned into "mustaches". Not cool . . . and definitely NOT what I was going for.