Thursday, April 05, 2007

i can't read

Here is how I read . . . .

1. I read something that makes no sense
2. I think "WTF?!?!"
3. I read it again, correctly this time
4.. Think "OH!!!"
5. Laugh

Just today I read this: "Kevorkian bids $4.5B in cash for Chrysler".
What I thought: Wow, suicide assistance must be really lucrative
The real headline: Kerkorian bids $4.5B in cash for Chrysler

I also read: "Geeks unearth rich Roman tomb"
What I thought: Geeks? What were computer guys doing that they came upon a tomb?
The real headline: Greeks unearth rich Roman tomb

And: "Cruise ships evacuated after running around"
What I thought: Tom Cruise did what? (I took "ships" as a verb)
The real headline: Cruise ship evacuated after running aground

Also: "Dog treats audience to pet food recall"
What I thought: HUH?!
The real headline: Dog treats added to pet food recall

Finally: "Giuliani complaining in S.C.
What I thought: Maybe he hates it there
The real headline: Giuliani campaigning in S.C.

Geez, more: Florida police arrest activist for feuding homeless
What I thought: Huh, what kind of feud?
The real headline: Florida police arrest activist for feeding homeless

All I can think right now is what Rodrigo is always telling me . . . "Context, sweetie, context". Still, I think I need some glasses, pronto. Someday when I have lots and lots of time, I'll tell you about the things that I hear incorrectly. This happens ALL THE TIME. EVERYDAY. I knew I shouldn't have signed that hearing loss waiver when I became a flight attendant years ago. Then again, I probably read it wrong.

feeling: dumb
listening to: Dora or Diego counting.


Jodi said...

This sounds so much like me! For me, it's definitely an attention thing vs. vision. My eyesight is near perfect.

foodiechickie said...

That is very very funny;)

Anonymous said...

how about "Dancer do not swing on the ropes"

Jesser said...

Hehehe. I do this too. When we lived in madison, there was a hardware store called "Dorn Hardware" and I swear to you, almost every time I saw that sign, I read it as "Porn Hardware." hehehe. In my defense, the D really did look a *little* like a P. ;)